When they started getting on each other’s nerves, she blamed herself at first. “It couldn’t be. The longest I can go is about three months, but I try and eat once a month. "I've done all I can to the portrait here. “Was I not strong enough when you flogged me for leaning over the oubliette? Who tells you these things? The physician, Sebastianus? Am I not sovereign enough to judge what is happening to my own body?\" She demanded. Had he been listening inside? ‘What is amiss?’ ‘That Frenchie, sir. ’ She flounced back to stare out of the window again. I love you—unendurably. There were mysterious rustlings that made him glance hopefully toward the sea. Was it that the struggle of things to survive produced as a sort of necessary byproduct these intense preferences and appreciations, or was it that some mystical outer thing, some great force, drove life beautyward, even in spite of expediency, regardless of survival value and all the manifest discretions of life? She went to Capes with that riddle and put it to him very carefully and clearly, and he talked well—he always talked at some length when she took a difficulty to him—and sent her to a various literature upon the markings of butterflies, the incomprehensible elaboration and splendor of birds of Paradise and hummingbirds’ plumes, the patterning of tigers, and a leopard’s spots. “Do you see why you cannot survive in the world without me? The world is full of mundane things, Lucia, but it is also full of terrible things.
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