She was never able to trace the changes her attitude had undergone, from the time when she believed herself to be the pampered Queen of Fortune, the crown of a good man’s love (and secretly, but nobly, worshipping some one else), to the time when she realized she was in fact just a mannequin for her lover’s imagination, and that he cared no more for the realities of her being, for the things she felt and desired, for the passions and dreams that might move her, than a child cares for the sawdust in its doll. CHAPTER XVII After the Ten Commandments have been spoken, conscience becomes less something inherent than something acquired. "Shall I never banish those horrible phantoms from my couch—the father with his bleeding breast and dripping hair!—the mother with her wringing hands and looks of vengeance and reproach!—And must another be added to their number—their son! Horror!—let me be spared this new crime! And yet the gibbet—my name tarnished—my escutcheon blotted by the hangman!—No, I cannot submit to that. This man was her husband in the eyes of both God and man. ‘You should not kiss me at all, and undoubtedly I should kill you. There was no marriage, and I hated, oh, how I hated the man. The marriage cannot—shall not be delayed. They became aware of the waitress standing over them with book and pencil ready for their bill. This is not what I want. He realized that he was committed to the path across the fields, an uninteresting walk at the best of times. You are nothing of the sort.
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